Being a girl...

Wasn't there some sort of advertising campaign recently that boasted 'being a girl rocks'? This is true, sometimes. But occasionally being a girl also sucks...or whatever the opposite of 'rocks' is. 

I would like to think most of time time I am a fairly even keel kind of gal - (if you don't think so, I don't want to hear about it) - but once a month, I turn in to a raving lunatic. (Yes folks, THAT once a month.) This may be too much information for some people, but I feel the need to try and make some sort of sense out of this (not sure why it needs to be in a 'public forum').

This 'time of the month' is a mixed blessing. On the one hand, I suppose it is something that should be celebrated. It kind of defines ones 'woman-ness'. And there is some truth to the fact that one is more in tune with the universe (too new agey???).  The downside (in addition to the physical discomforts) is the fact that hormones are running rampant. And sadly, my hormones have a stranger sense of humour than I do - leaving me a blubbering pool of emotions. It drives me crazy. At the time, I  have no idea what is going on, and why I am acting the way I am. The tiniest infraction against me becomes the end of the world. For two days, I am unable to make a decision about the simplest things (do I want a latte or a regular coffee), I get extremely impatient, and the ball of anger that I thought I had effectively tucked away, somehow comes to the surface. 

This is a tough conundrum - it's a fact of life. There is a legitimate change in ones hormonal balance. But somehow it feels like an excuse. Or even worse, if someone mentions 'is it that time of the month?' it feels demeaning. Like the only reason I could be emotional or reactive or angry is because it's that time (and sadly it usually is). I don't want to perpetuate stereotypes, because I am as independent and pro-feminism as the next woman. But I am still struggling (after almost 40 years of being a woman) on how to come to terms with this most feminine part of being a girl.

So this is my public apology to all those that have had to endure my 'girl-ness' - I am sorry - it's not me, it's my hormones. 

The picture today is from my nephew's birthday party last weekend. There was a clown there making balloon animals (and as many know, I am a kid at heart), and I LOVE balloon animals. She offered me the sample flower that was there, and I took it. And yes, had to take it with me on the bus from Hamilton to Toronto, and then on the subway. Did I look silly - probably. But who cares, the kid inside was happy and content.