Insanity

I have heard that the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing and expecting different results (or something like that). So why is it that I think I can have a coffee at 3:00 in the afternoon and still get a good night's sleep - when I know full well that the caffeine will keep me awake. Anyone????

So it's almost 3 am....so what else is a girl to do but update her blog. Seems logical.

Went to yoga tonight for the first time in months. My relationship with yoga is an interesting one. I like it, I know it's good for me but I struggle to go on a consistent basis. It's not because I am lazy - well, I am lazy - but that's not the reason. Yoga has a very interesting effect on me - tends to make me very emotional. I have been known to burst into tears in the midst of a yoga class. (For those who know me, I am sure you are shocked!!! A bit of sarcasm there.) I have been doing yoga on and off for a few years now, and have my theories on why this happens. There is one school of thought that says we store emotions in our cells. And so when you do physical activity - especially things like yoga - you release those emotions. It comes out in different ways for different people. I have a friend that does yoga, and backbends make her angry. I tend to start sobbing when I am doing any inversion - specifically headstand. (And let me tell you, there is a skill involved in being able to cry while upside down, just try it and see.)

I know it is good for me to release these things. I have realized in my ripe old age that holding on to stuff isn't good, especially old emotions. So I have decided in the spirit of the new chapter in my life, it's yoga time. If I am going to continue this journey I am on, I need to move forward and let go of the past. Wish me luck!

It was interesting tonight - one of the poses that caused me a lot of grief in the beginning was shoulder stand. I would freak out, sob and just not have a very good time of it. I have come to love that pose and feel very relaxed in it. I was reflecting a bit while in the pose and realized how much I have changed since the first time I attempted shoulder stand. It's not often, or at least it's not in my life, where you can trace the progress of your journey, and are able to see the movement from point a to point b. (Is this too new agey yet???)

I am slowly learning to embrace the changes, and the challenges and look for the opportunities that are presented to me to learn about myself. Do I like it, most days the answer is no. But I do have faith that someday, while I am happily in headstand, I will look back and remember the times that I used to cry when I was in that pose.

The picture today was taken at the yoga centre. We (angry backbend girl and I) had 'stolen' the santa from someone at work and were holding it ransom. We were sending pictures of the poor santa puppet in very unfortunate circumstances to the owner. All was lost when I was questioned about the incident and couldn't keep the secret. Nothing captures the true meaning of yoga like a picture of santa and Buddha.